In this time, when the nation’s mental health is often in the news, The Canyon Chronicle’s lineup includes another mental health feature, “Finding ‘Health’ in Mental Health,” by Matthew Ferraro. (pages 8-9). In it, he follows the journey of Adrian Lacey as he struggled to manage his mental health challenges. A year later, Ferraro produced Lacey’s story as an award-winning documentary short film, “The Runner.” Here, Lacey shares his message of hope:
About three years ago I heard a quote on the radio which stopped me in my tracks.

It came from J.G. Ballard talking about his semi-autobiographical book entitled Empire of the Sun that became a Steven Spielberg movie of the same name. Writing about his traumatic wartime experience in Shanghai, Ballard said it took him “20 years to forget and then 20 years to remember.” The very year I first heard that quote was 40 years after the 15 year-old boy that I was then returned home from school and mounted the stairs to find my mother’s lifeless body next to a bottle of pills. Looking back now I’m inclined to lift a line from war leader Winston Churchill: that was “the end of the beginning,” the day my innocence died.

Those 40 years for me didn’t neatly divide into two in the way Ballard described for himself. When composer and director Matthew Ferraro first approached me with an idea, I happened to be making some progress on a semi-autobiographical novel dealing in part with teen trauma. I was finally mentally predisposed to talking openly about things I’d barely discussed with friends I’d known for decades. So Matthew came along at the right time with an eye toward helping others—he was pushing at an open door.

There also were some complete strangers I entrusted with great detail about my family trauma and the depression I was wrestling with—therapists. Guided conversations with them over the years, together with regular exercise, has been my route forward. Throw in some long-standing loyal friends, work in broadcasting and my love for music, and I’ve been very lucky to be able to build a life I could inhabit in a much more constructive way than ever seemed possible at my lowest points as a teenager. There often seems to be an epidemic of depression and anxiety in society and that raises bigger questions than any of us can address quickly. Although the principles of looking after ourselves and feeding a support network around us are relatively simple, working them out in practice and sticking with them can take decades!

I wish you well if you’re embarking on such a journey. The most important take-away from my story is there is always hope. Hope is real. I’m a living example of that!