The staff of The Canyon Chronicle are no fools. Well maybe we are... once in a while. Like today, April 1, 2022. We do like to have fun, but we take our journalistic responsibilities seriously enough and recognize our civic duty to inform our readers in these days of gloom and doom, and “Now What?� In this edition, however, we challenge you to see if you can tell fake news from “the real stuff, no fluff� that we diligently publish on a bi-weekly basis. Therefore, in the respected traditions of this ancient day of days (and hereafter), we dare you to read every word herein—with serious intent—without laughing or crying or what we hope for: laughing until you cry. We owe reams of gratitude to the merry pranksters who contributed their indescribable talents, tomfoolery, and slightly warped insights for this issue, as well as those who followed their the path with real information. Lighten your hearts, not just for a day but for the month...or maybe forever. CONTENTS 4 Oh, No! Breaking News! (In a bi-weekly?) 4 More Breaking News! (What? Are you crazy?) 5 Breaking News! Hint: Four-year-olds get to go to school! (Oh, Wow!) 5 Two Letters: One fan mail, the other not so much. (It’s a tie: One “Ahh,� to One “Ouch.�) 6 Miles Erickson goes the distance on LDLP (Tone up your laughing muscles before reading) 6 So does the editor who does like to laugh. (You’re kidding! No, really!) 7 Breaking News! Beautiful artist Velvet Marshall Gets a Job (Volunteer, of course. The SAGES are so lucky.) 8-9 Miles Erickson riffs on Topangans (What is this? The Miles Erickson show? YES!) 10 Kait Leonard takes a look at the history of the April Fool (Maybe March really has 32 days…) 11 Step into the Fifth Dimension with Sarah Irani (Not with the ’ 60s band, but you might) 12 “Facing Down the Drought (Nothing to laugh at here) 13 Kathie’s and Mike’s 30th Anniversary (It is possible, y’know. And they still like each other) 14 Two for one: “April Isn’t Foolin’ Around� says our resident astrologer (Marvel fans will likely think April is just another action flick) and “Days of April,� by Kait Leonard. Now then, read on…